It's 06h45 in the morning. The wind is so strong that the roof is shaking and the rain is pelting down outside. About 1½ hours ago, I've said goodbye to my husband as he leaves home to start his morning shift which starts at 6.00am. I look outside and this overwhelming feeling of uneasiness comes over me. I go straight to my bedroom and start praying that he gets to work safely. The weather outside does not look too kosher. The kids are starting to wake up and I need to get them ready for school and creche. It's now just after 7.00am, the phone rings ...... I will never forget that phone call, I had just finished praying for my husband to have a safe journey to work in the terrible weather that we had.
"Good morning, is that Mrs West?" says the caller.
"Yes it is. Who am I speaking to?" I answer.
"Mrs West, my name is Carl and I own a tow truck company. Do you own a white BMW 325i?" says Carl.
"Yes." is all I can muster as an answer. My stomach is doing big time tumble turns and 360's. I know what he's going to say next, yet I'm hoping that my gut is wrong.
"We've located your car on the side of the mountain. We've looked for the driver, but can't find him. Do you know who the driver was?" says Carl.
"What do you mean you can't find him?" I say. I think to myself after asking the question, obviously they must have looked, but how could they not have found him. Is he lying somewhere and no-one can hear him? Is he unconscious? Which side of the mountain has the car been found? Has he been flung from the car? My mind is working overtime with all the possibilities of where he could be.
"I'll try his cell phone and see if I can get hold of him." I eventually tell Carl.
A feeling of total calmness comes over me. Don't ask me how, why, who etc. I just went into autopilot mode. It seemed like hours (but it was only 5 minutes) while I was trying to get hold of my husband. Eventually he answered his phone. He could just about talk to me to tell me that he was fine and that the ambulance was about to take him to the hospital. But where was he?
On his way to work, he had a double blow out. First the back tyre and then the front one. Yes, the car had rolled, but it had landed up on the side of the mountain in the way of oncoming traffic and not down the slope of the mountain as the picture had been painted to me. He had some neck and back injuries, but nothing serious. Just really bad bruising. He had managed to get out of the car and walked from the accident scene down to the mall in Sun Valley. This was approximately a 4 km walk. He was still in shock from the accident. The trainer at the local gym assisted him and called the ambulance. I couldn't believe that he had walked that distance after rolling about 5 times in the car.
I needed to keep it together for the kids. I had a 10 month old baby boy and a 6 year old little girl whom I needed to get ready for school. This feeling of calmness came over me and there was no longer a panic mode. My husband was alive and he was going to be ok. After those phone calls, the rest of the morning was a total blur. I bundled the kids into our bakkie (Ute) and went to my mother's place (20 minutes away). My family home was my haven. My mother was my strength. When I arrived there and opened the door, I briefly filled her in on what was happening and she took the kids from me, said a prayer with me and off I went to the hospital.
I remember arriving at the hospital and being greeted by my husband's cousin, Byron. He was our pillar of strength, he was calm and level-headed and he made sure that I was okay. They had just taken my husband to radiology to do a CT / MRI scan. So off I went to locate this cat who had just used up his 2nd life. As I entered the radiology section, I could see Ivery laying outside the MRI unit with all sorts of braces, splints and straps around him. He did not look a pretty sight. I realised that I needed to keep it together and not get emotional because I knew that would bother him as he would then worry about me and my well being. I prayed to God to give me the strength and courage to do this. I hated seeing him laying there helpless. As I approached his bed, he knew it was me, by the perfume that I was wearing. I could see the pain in his eyes and still a bit of delayed shock from what had just happened to him. He tried to put up a brave face, but I could see that inside he was just doing it for me. He didn't want me to worry. That's my man, always protecting what is precious to him. That's why I love him so much.
A tall woman in a long white coat approached us while we were waiting. She was the radiologist and was coming to explain the procedure for the scan. Ivery, just wanted it to be over with. My job was to ensure that he remained calm and not get agitated ... so I assumed that now would not be a good time to tell him that the car was a total write off and that the mags that he had just polished were totally messed. It was quite funny, because one of the first comments he made to me was "Have you seen the car yet? Is it okay?" I just brushed his questions aside as it was just a car, a car that had saved his life. We could get another one, it was no big deal. This was the point when I realised exactly how safe our car really was.
The final result was that he just had soft tissue bruising. No broken bones or internal bleeding. His guardian angels were really working overtime with him that morning. He was off work for a month with his injuries. It was absolute hell for him because he couldn't pick up the kids, he couldn't play with them. All he was allowed to do was sit up and lay down (flat on his back). So I had a 6 year old, a 10 month old and an adult-baby. I needed to work and ensure that life was as normal for my children as it could be.
This was another part of the puzzle which I had to master. Unknowingly, it prepared me for what was to come. I look back on that experience that we had as a young family. All my family rallied around to help me. My sisters offered to take the kids to give me a break. My mother-in-law would take my 6 year old for the day on the weekend to give me a break. Everywhere I turned, there was some sort of assistance waiting for me. I was so blessed to have all of this around me. There was so much to be thankful for. Ivery had been spared yet again. I had been given the inner strength to not lose the plot and keep it together for my kids. Trust me there were times, where I used to lock myself in my bathroom, run the shower and have my moment of tears. That was my escape. I couldn't let the kids or him see me doing that as I knew that it would have bothered them. Once I stood in that shower, the tears would just stream down and I would sob, the drone of the water coming out of the shower drowning out the tears and sobbing. Don't get me wrong, they were not tears of unhappiness. They were tears of joy, happiness and gratitude. I was happy and joyous that my life partner had been spared to see his kids grow up. He had been given another chance to be the father and husband that he wants to be, loving, devoted and protectful of us. I was grateful for the family that I had around me and supporting us.
This was another example of how my family (including my in-laws) rallied around to ensure that there was always support. Many years later, I look at that experience that we went through as a family and I ask the question, "How did we do it?". And everytime I come up with the same answer, "God, love, support, inner strength and family."
I leave you with this challenge ....
1. You don't have to be a deeply religious person to talk to God. Have a conversation with him and you'll be amazed at the inner fulfilment you will experience.
2. When you need inner strength, look at those around you who are going through worse situations than what you find yourself in. Draw on the strength that if they can do it, so can you. Remember, you need to believe in yourself and believe you can do it.
3. Lastly, we all grew up as part of a family. I always remember Lilo and Stitch, the movie. When Lilo says "Ohanah means family and family means, no-one gets left behind!" Don't leave your family behind. Leave the past in the past and move foward. Support them when they need your support. Gather as a family (as we have done in the picture below) to celebrate your successes. Don't harbour issues this will affect you later in life, trust me I know.
My mother always said to us that the power of positive thinking is a wonderful tool to have. I firmly believe that this is true. If you believe you can do it, then you can. So, go out there and believe that you are a positive individual who can make a difference in others lives.
"Good morning, is that Mrs West?" says the caller.
"Yes it is. Who am I speaking to?" I answer.
"Mrs West, my name is Carl and I own a tow truck company. Do you own a white BMW 325i?" says Carl.
"Yes." is all I can muster as an answer. My stomach is doing big time tumble turns and 360's. I know what he's going to say next, yet I'm hoping that my gut is wrong.
"We've located your car on the side of the mountain. We've looked for the driver, but can't find him. Do you know who the driver was?" says Carl.
"What do you mean you can't find him?" I say. I think to myself after asking the question, obviously they must have looked, but how could they not have found him. Is he lying somewhere and no-one can hear him? Is he unconscious? Which side of the mountain has the car been found? Has he been flung from the car? My mind is working overtime with all the possibilities of where he could be.
"I'll try his cell phone and see if I can get hold of him." I eventually tell Carl.
A feeling of total calmness comes over me. Don't ask me how, why, who etc. I just went into autopilot mode. It seemed like hours (but it was only 5 minutes) while I was trying to get hold of my husband. Eventually he answered his phone. He could just about talk to me to tell me that he was fine and that the ambulance was about to take him to the hospital. But where was he?
On his way to work, he had a double blow out. First the back tyre and then the front one. Yes, the car had rolled, but it had landed up on the side of the mountain in the way of oncoming traffic and not down the slope of the mountain as the picture had been painted to me. He had some neck and back injuries, but nothing serious. Just really bad bruising. He had managed to get out of the car and walked from the accident scene down to the mall in Sun Valley. This was approximately a 4 km walk. He was still in shock from the accident. The trainer at the local gym assisted him and called the ambulance. I couldn't believe that he had walked that distance after rolling about 5 times in the car.
I needed to keep it together for the kids. I had a 10 month old baby boy and a 6 year old little girl whom I needed to get ready for school. This feeling of calmness came over me and there was no longer a panic mode. My husband was alive and he was going to be ok. After those phone calls, the rest of the morning was a total blur. I bundled the kids into our bakkie (Ute) and went to my mother's place (20 minutes away). My family home was my haven. My mother was my strength. When I arrived there and opened the door, I briefly filled her in on what was happening and she took the kids from me, said a prayer with me and off I went to the hospital.
I remember arriving at the hospital and being greeted by my husband's cousin, Byron. He was our pillar of strength, he was calm and level-headed and he made sure that I was okay. They had just taken my husband to radiology to do a CT / MRI scan. So off I went to locate this cat who had just used up his 2nd life. As I entered the radiology section, I could see Ivery laying outside the MRI unit with all sorts of braces, splints and straps around him. He did not look a pretty sight. I realised that I needed to keep it together and not get emotional because I knew that would bother him as he would then worry about me and my well being. I prayed to God to give me the strength and courage to do this. I hated seeing him laying there helpless. As I approached his bed, he knew it was me, by the perfume that I was wearing. I could see the pain in his eyes and still a bit of delayed shock from what had just happened to him. He tried to put up a brave face, but I could see that inside he was just doing it for me. He didn't want me to worry. That's my man, always protecting what is precious to him. That's why I love him so much.
A tall woman in a long white coat approached us while we were waiting. She was the radiologist and was coming to explain the procedure for the scan. Ivery, just wanted it to be over with. My job was to ensure that he remained calm and not get agitated ... so I assumed that now would not be a good time to tell him that the car was a total write off and that the mags that he had just polished were totally messed. It was quite funny, because one of the first comments he made to me was "Have you seen the car yet? Is it okay?" I just brushed his questions aside as it was just a car, a car that had saved his life. We could get another one, it was no big deal. This was the point when I realised exactly how safe our car really was.
The final result was that he just had soft tissue bruising. No broken bones or internal bleeding. His guardian angels were really working overtime with him that morning. He was off work for a month with his injuries. It was absolute hell for him because he couldn't pick up the kids, he couldn't play with them. All he was allowed to do was sit up and lay down (flat on his back). So I had a 6 year old, a 10 month old and an adult-baby. I needed to work and ensure that life was as normal for my children as it could be.
This was another part of the puzzle which I had to master. Unknowingly, it prepared me for what was to come. I look back on that experience that we had as a young family. All my family rallied around to help me. My sisters offered to take the kids to give me a break. My mother-in-law would take my 6 year old for the day on the weekend to give me a break. Everywhere I turned, there was some sort of assistance waiting for me. I was so blessed to have all of this around me. There was so much to be thankful for. Ivery had been spared yet again. I had been given the inner strength to not lose the plot and keep it together for my kids. Trust me there were times, where I used to lock myself in my bathroom, run the shower and have my moment of tears. That was my escape. I couldn't let the kids or him see me doing that as I knew that it would have bothered them. Once I stood in that shower, the tears would just stream down and I would sob, the drone of the water coming out of the shower drowning out the tears and sobbing. Don't get me wrong, they were not tears of unhappiness. They were tears of joy, happiness and gratitude. I was happy and joyous that my life partner had been spared to see his kids grow up. He had been given another chance to be the father and husband that he wants to be, loving, devoted and protectful of us. I was grateful for the family that I had around me and supporting us.
This was another example of how my family (including my in-laws) rallied around to ensure that there was always support. Many years later, I look at that experience that we went through as a family and I ask the question, "How did we do it?". And everytime I come up with the same answer, "God, love, support, inner strength and family."
I leave you with this challenge ....
1. You don't have to be a deeply religious person to talk to God. Have a conversation with him and you'll be amazed at the inner fulfilment you will experience.
2. When you need inner strength, look at those around you who are going through worse situations than what you find yourself in. Draw on the strength that if they can do it, so can you. Remember, you need to believe in yourself and believe you can do it.
3. Lastly, we all grew up as part of a family. I always remember Lilo and Stitch, the movie. When Lilo says "Ohanah means family and family means, no-one gets left behind!" Don't leave your family behind. Leave the past in the past and move foward. Support them when they need your support. Gather as a family (as we have done in the picture below) to celebrate your successes. Don't harbour issues this will affect you later in life, trust me I know.
My mother always said to us that the power of positive thinking is a wonderful tool to have. I firmly believe that this is true. If you believe you can do it, then you can. So, go out there and believe that you are a positive individual who can make a difference in others lives.
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